


The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To Is When I'm Alone With You

by lulextra



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Lexa is sweet and innocent, forbidden love au, rebellious!clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:35:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulextra/pseuds/lulextra
Summary: Clarke Griffin is the daughter of a renowned anti-gay pastor and the Woods family are keen to join his congregation.What happens when two girls who are absolutely not supposed to fall in love with each other do leading them down a dangerous road in an attempt to keep their love a secret from their strict religious families. There may be consequences, the world may be working against them to keep them apart but true love always wins in the end, right?





	The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To Is When I'm Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the story is taken from Hozier - Take Me To Church.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this fic! It's a bit different! I hadn't seen one like it before and the concept interested me so I thought I would give it a shot. Please, please tell me your thoughts and feelings! I love to receive feedback.
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr! @alyciadebnamclexa

Clarke Griffin hates wearing dresses, with a passion.

She tugs at the straps and attempts to shimmy the scratchy material down her body a bit but to no avail, it’s stuck fast, far too tight for her curvaceous frame.

Sighing she gazes at herself in the full length mirror, grimacing as she takes in her appearance and the white with red polka dots dress.

“Here honey, this will really set the look off” Clarke swats a hand aimlessly as her mom comes flouncing in waving a bright red lipstick in her face.

“Ew, no, MOM, I hate that stuff” she groans as Abby Griffin manages to trap her daughter against the wall and runs a copious amount of the makeup over her pouting lips.

She takes a step back admiring her handiwork. “Oh that’s lovely, now come on or we’ll be late!”

This is what, much to her irritation, she has to endure every Wednesday and Sunday. Being shoved into highly uncomfortable dresses and being made to sit through her father’s sermons at the church he runs.

Jake Griffin is incredibly opinionated and is nationwide renowned for being one of the most outspoken anti-gay preachers in the country. He has regularly appeared on CNN and Fox news participating in raucous debates with people who aren’t quite so closed minded. But he never listens and he doesn’t give anyone who doesn’t agree with him the time of day. Well, only to shove his homophobic views down their throat if they will stand still long enough.

Clarke doesn’t agree with her dad, not one bit, but she’s long since stopped trying to reason with him, that one’s a lost cause. She hates the idea of anyone being judged for their identity, people should be allowed to live the life they want without prejudice and she hates that she is always presumed to share the same opinions as her father, because she doesn’t.

Her mom isn’t quite as bad but, like all of his congregation, they follow him like a flock. Cling to his every word, believe that his raging homophobic views are right and true, all cleverly hidden behind the guise of religion.

She’s stopped trying to counter argue her father and she’s stopped complaining about being made to wear dresses. Going against his wants and wishes only means having her privileges taken away and she simply can’t live without the means of escaping this measly existence, even just for a couple of hours.

*****

“Hey babe” Clarke glances up to find Finn Collins sauntering towards her, his dad in tow.

She gets up from the freezing cold pew, rather awkwardly as she’s sure her ass is numbed solid by this point.

A kiss is pecked onto her cheek and she flashes Finn a fake saccharine sweet smile in response.

Taking in his appearance she notes that he’s wearing a white shirt and black suit with a red tie. All smart apart from his signature scruffy hair which flops over his forehead in an uneven manner.

“Hey” she greets just as stiffly as her sore muscles, giving Finn’s dad a small smile who nods in acknowledgement.

Finn Collins is _supposed_ to be her boyfriend, much to Clarke’s distaste.

It wasn’t Clarke’s choice, oh no, the decision had somewhat been forced onto her by both their respective parents.

“Oh Finn is a straight A student, he has high prospects”

“You can’t marry into a family with as high a stature as the Collins’ around these parts Clarke”

Who said she even wants to marry anyway? She’s still only seventeen.

“Another fantastic sermon” Finn’s dad Keith finally speaks up.

“My favourite part was when…”

Clarke zones out at this point because in all honesty she hadn’t been listening to a single word that had been uttered, and sometimes yelled from her animated father stood at the pulpit.

If Clarke had any say in what she wants in her life she wouldn’t have spent her Sunday morning sat here, she would of still have been snuggled up in bed.

Thankfully she’s soon saved from the tedious conversation by a shout directed at her from the doorway.

She turns to see Jake in discussion with three people, a woman a man and a girl who looked around the same age as Clarke.

“Ah Clarke, I would like you to meet Martin, Jessica and Alexandria Woods” her dad announces as soon as Clarke stops beside him.

Her eyes are immediately drawn to the girl first who she notices pulls a face at the mention of her name.

Wavy chestnut curls cascade down her back, the front of her hair pulled back and away from her face, some of it in braids. She owns the most vivid green eyes that Clarke has ever seen that peer back at her nervously as the blonde takes her in and she gives Clarke the smallest of smiles before averting her gaze to her feet shyly, her cheeks flushing a light pink.

She fiddles with the hem of her baby blue dress and Clarke wonders if she also had been forced into wearing the garment against her will.

Clarke is stunned momentarily, her lips parted at the sight of the girl.

_She’s so, so pretty._

The heavier than usual thump, thump, thump in her ears prevents her from hearing her name being called to begin with but eventually she’s torn free from her reverie.

“Clarke!”

“Wh-what? _Oh_ , sorry”

_She had been staring, how embarrassing._

Adjusting her features into a look of soft politeness she glances at the man and woman who are now gazing at her curiously.

“Nice to meet you Mr, Mrs Woods” she nods, holding out a hand in greeting.

“It seems as though this lovely family will be joining our congregation which is lovely to hear, we welcome everyone with open arms!”

Clarke scoffs at that, _not everyone_.

“Is something the matter Clarke?” Jake asks sternly, glaring at his daughter.

“Erm no, just had a tickle, er- in my throat”

The girl glances back up at Clarke, a soft smirk tugging at the corners of her lips in amusement, a smile that Clarke can’t help but return. Now it’s her turn to blush.

“Well there’s some water near my bag, if you need it”

With one last nod to the family Clarke turns to go in search of refreshment, vaguely hearing as she walks off her father mentioning to the three about the bring and buy sale being held the following Tuesday.

Clarke didn’t realise that the entire time she was walking away, green eyes didn’t once take their gaze off her.

*****

Stacking some worn old books that Clarke isn’t sure that anyone in their right mind would want into a box for perusing she startles as there’s a voice right behind her.

“Hey, erm, your dad told me to bring these over to you?”

It’s the brunette from Sunday but this time she’s wearing jeans and a pink checked button up, clutching a small stack of books in her hands.

“Oh hi, Alexandria isn’t it? Yeah, I’m on book duty it seems”

Clarke rolls her eyes and the girl smiles.

“Erm well yes but I hate that name, please, call me Lexa”

“Le-xa” Clarke tests the name out on her tongue and she’s sure she notices the other girl flinch slightly at the totally not intended husky quality that seems to have taken over Clarke’s voice.

Clarke shrugs, “yep, that’s definitely a better name, I like it”

Lexa flushes furiously, averting her eyes to her feet for the second time when around Clarke in two days and holds out the books.

“Thanks” Clarke acquiesces softly, placing the books with the others in the box.

“Erm, he also said I could help? You know only if you needed it, I mean I don’t want to get in the way or anything but- just while my parents are having a coffee, erm-“

Clarke grins, playfully prodding a finger at the girl’s shoulder.

“No need to be so nervous, I’m not gonna bite yer head off!” she teases.

“Actually, the company would be nice, I hate these sale things”

“Really?” the girl sounds so hopeful that Clarke is sure her heart swells a millimetre.

Picking up a boxset of Harry Potter books she hands them to Lexa.

“Yep! Your first job is to lay these out as appealingly as possible on that table”

Clarke finds out that Lexa is a girl of few words. She manages to find out that she goes to the school across town and that her family own a Golden Retriever called Gustus but when she tries to delve into more personal topics like interests and what she likes to do in her spare time the girl seems to retreat even further into her shell than she was previously.

 The brunette seems to breathe a sigh of relief when after fifteen minutes Martin comes strolling over, flinging an arm around his daughter.

“You girls having fun?”

Clarke smiles politely but Lexa grumbles something inaudible under her breath.

“Well if you’re about done we had better get home to get ready, Jake and Abby have invited us over for a barbeque tonight, isn’t that nice?”

He squeezes Lexa’s shoulder in reassurance who looks to have lost all colour from her cheeks.

Clarke furrows her brow in confusion, _just why does she look so worried?_

*****

Lexa wouldn’t like to admit it to anyone but Martin and Jessica Woods have wrapped their daughter in cotton wool since she was a baby.

Being born five weeks premature and due to complications during the birth her life had started on a worrying note, leading to her parents being extra cautious in raising their child.

It also didn’t help that Lexa’s older and only sister Anya had been incredibly rebellious in her youth, completely disregarding her parent’s religion and doing everything that they deemed to be inappropriate and ungodly. Drinking too much, sleeping around and she even dabbled in more stronger stuff from time to time.

Anya was therefore thrown out of the family home at the age of sixteen, much to Lexa’s dismay, she adored her sister and even though her parents had their reservations at first they eventually caved in and allowed their youngest to visit Anya at her apartment once a week. Even though they were adamant that Anya was a bad influence and wasn’t to be trusted. But for Lexa, Anya was the best sister she could ever have hoped for, she was a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it and compared to spending time with her parents she was just so much fun to be around. She especially cherishes their trips to the local zoo where they will drink milkshakes and watch the penguins for hours as they are Lexa’s favourite.

In an attempt to prevent Lexa from going down the same path as Anya they had enforced more stronger rules for her to live by. No hanging around with people they hadn't vetted beforehand, no drinking alcohol under any circumstances, be home by eight o’clock every night and no boyfriend until the age of twenty one.

 _Boyfriend?_   Lexa had scoffed at that one. They needn’t have to worry there. For some reason the thought of acquiring a boyfriend made her feel slightly repulsed. She didn’t dwell much on why though.

*****

Lexa stands with one hand on her hip, pepsi in the other as a scruffy looking boy talks loud and brash right in Clarke’s face, he had barged right in between the two girls who admittedly wasn’t talking much anyway but the sheer rudeness of it had Lexa bristling.

Clarke doesn’t look particularly pleased either and swiftly pushes the boy out of the way when her dad calls to announce that the food is ready.

They all take a seat at the table, the pastor and his wife, Clarke and the scruffy looking boy that Lexa already disliked immensely, his parents, Lexa and her parents.

Jake begins to say grace and Lexa notices with one eye peeking open that the boy had begun tickling Clarke’s side in an attempt to try and make her laugh which would no doubt cause a scene.

Lexa rolled her eyes, as much as she could manage anyway with one eye closed and the other squinting in irritation.

What is wrong with teenage boys? Lexa simply had no time for any of them and their childish natures.

Once Jake had finished there was a mad scrabble to grab burgers, sausages, chicken, anything from the centre of the table.

Lexa waits her turn politely before reaching for a burger, a bun and some salad.

“Is that all you’re having?” Clarke scoffs staring at Lexa incredulously.

She pauses with her mouth slightly open, glancing down to Clarke’s plate which is piled high.

“I don’t have the appetite you do, obviously” Lexa states, slightly put out by the judgement on her eating habits.

“Obviously” Clarke smirks chewing on a piece of lettuce thoughtfully.

Lexa doesn’t speak again and soon the topic around the table changes to the teenagers’ extracurricular activities, much to the three’s dismay.

“Lexa plays piano, don’t you sweetie” Jessica pats her daughter on the shoulder proudly and Lexa looks up at her with a stiff smile.

_Don’t embarrass me, please don’t embarrass me._

“No way, looks like we’ve both got talented daughters” Abby grins.

 “Clarke plays guitar!”

Clarke nods, seemingly not as bothered by the calling out as the brunette had been.

“Maybe you could show Lexa a few things Clarke? Start up your own little band? we could have you perform in church”

Lexa chokes out at that, coughing loudly and reaching for her drink with a shaky hand. Taking a sip and feeling as though her face is getting redder and redder she asks to excuse herself for a moment.

As she makes her way out of the bathroom wringing the last of the water off her hands she almost starts wheezing again in surprise as Clarke is leaning against the doorframe.

“You okay?” she asks softly in concern, letting her eyes roam across Lexa’s startled features.

“Erm yes I’m fine thanks” she doesn’t allow herself to meet those fiery blue eyes, afraid that she’ll lose control of her breathing again.

“Do you wanna see my guitar? I know how embarrassing parents can get when together, thought you might need a breather?”

Lexa nods slowly, “okay cool”

“Here’s my baby” Clarke announces, spinning the acoustic guitar on the base before picking it up and sitting it on her lap.

Lexa shifts awkwardly at the foot of the bed, clasping her hands together tightly.

“You can sit down you know” Clarke winks and Lexa takes a tentative seat next to her on the bed.

_Just how is she so confident? How does she do it?_

She watches transfixed as deft fingers begin plucking softly, a gentle tune that lulls Lexa into a calmed state. She hopes that she looks that at ease when playing the piano.

Nobody says anything for at least five minutes, both girls just enjoying the beautiful sound the strings make.

Clarke finally breaks the silence and Lexa wishes that she hadn’t.

“So Lexa, tell me, what else do you do besides the piano?”

An eyebrow cocks at her questioningly, a gentle prod to the very question she ignored earlier on in the day.

“Not a lot” she answers truthfully, still staring wistfully at Clarke’s hand.

The silence that drags on seems to confirm to Lexa that Clarke is expecting her to elaborate.

“My parents, they’re strict, I have a curfew of eight”

“EIGHT? At least my parents aren’t that bad, I have a curfew but I don’t have to be in until eleven”

Lexa sighs, “so it kind of limits me to the things I can do”

“So no boyfriend then?” Clarke asks curiously, glancing up to meet Lexa’s eyes.

“Boyfriend? My parents tell me I can’t have one until I’m twenty one, but I don’t want one anyway”

“Oh?” the corners of Clarke’s lips quirk up into a small smirk.

“I don’t know they just don’t interest me.. and most of them are just stupid”

Clarke laughs, “well you’re right there”

There’s a pause before she adds, “so does that mean.. you’ve never been kissed?”

Lexa almost chokes again, “wha-? Erm, no” she shakes her head vigorously.

“But have you thought about it? About-“

“No, of course not, I just told you I haven’t met a boy that interests me” she cuts in, getting frustrated now.

“I kissed a girl once”

“YOU DID WHAT?” Lexa almost shouts, her mouth agape.

“Yep, at a party, it was nice” she shrugs nonchalantly.

“It was nice? But..but..”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “homosexuality is a sin? Yeah I know what it’s SUPPOSED to be, what my father says but I don’t believe it Lexa, if it feels good it feels good, y’know?”

“I’m sorry but no I don’t know” Lexa splutters, still taking on the appearance of a stunned goldfish.

“Love is love and sometimes girls wanna kiss girls, why should it bother anyone else?”

“But.. but.. in the bible it says…”

But Lexa isn’t allowed the chance to finish as she’s absolutely stunned to find that Clarke has shut her up for good… with her lips.

Softer than velvet lips very gently push against her own and as Clarke withdraws there’s a very slight tug on her bottom lip that almost causes Lexa to yelp.

Clarke is the barest of inches away from Lexa’s face when she utters “I don’t care what the bible says, if I want to kiss a pretty girl I damn well will, I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I first saw you”

“Oh” _oh._

Lexa is dumbstruck. Her heart pounding so fast it threatens to break free from her sore ribcage which is beginning to suffer due to not expelling a breath in the last minute or so.

“Clarke” Lexa breathes out and a pleasant shiver runs up the blonde’s spine as she hears her name uttered for the very first time from the brunette’s pretty plump lips.

“I- what- why? I can’t-“

“Lexa, you don’t have to say anything just, if that felt wrong, if you feel w _rong_ you can leave right now but if not, if it felt good just nod”

Confused, heavy viridescent depths search Clarke out, plead with her and she gives the faintest of nods in reply.

Clarke hums, “it felt good for me too”

And then a hand is lifting, cupping Lexa’s chin and lips are drawing her in for another kiss. The pace is still tantalisingly slow, Clarke respecting the fact that this is very new and probably confusing for the girl but she doesn’t mind, she wants to take her time, to map every inch of those lips.

As Lexa begins to acclimatise to the kiss more of a push and pull begins to develop and the brunette gives a soft breathy moan causing Clarke to shudder.

_It feels good, Clarke’s lips feel amazing against hers but in that moment she doesn’t let herself question why, or let her moral compass rule her heart she just gets lost in the feeling, the feeling of soft fingers at her chin, the feeling of cushiony lips pushing and pulling, the desperate breathy noises coming from the blonde. It feels oh so good and she just lives in that moment._

Clarke feels as though she could kiss this girl for the rest of the night but she knows that sooner or later someone will come looking for them and they can’t possibly risk the chance of being caught.

Reluctantly she pulls away gradually and is surprised to hear a disappointed whimper escape from Lexa.

The blonde smiles, running her thumb gently across the brunette’s cheek.

“I think we should get back to the others don’t you?”

Lexa nods, sucking her swollen bottom lip into her mouth, ruing allowing Clarke to stop kissing her.

They can’t take their eyes off each other for the rest of the night, stolen glances lay heavy between them, of a secret that only they know.

Lexa Woods never expected her first kiss to be with a girl and she never expected to feel this way about the fact that she has kissed one. Her stomach feels jittery but her heart feels light, settled, as if a long awaited confirmation has been settled in her mind and now her body can rest.

Maybe, after the haze has dissipated she’ll allow herself to feel guilt, maybe she’ll let the secret weigh on her so much she feels the need to confess her sin, or maybe, _maybe,_ the thing she would much rather do is find the blonde’s lips again.


End file.
